10 steps to being an adult

1. Nobody cares about your problems. Except you. If they appear to, it’s because they want something from you. So get a grip and stop whining.
2. Even if they don’t care and pretend to (or not), don’t hate them. It’s not their fault they’re materialistic, scummy humans.
3. You know what. Don’t hate anybody. Ever. There’s no point and you are simply wasting your time and energy. Be the bigger person.
4. The above does not mean allowing people to treat you like their door mat when it pours for 40 days and 40 nights. Be, well, a grown up about it!
5. Expect nothing. From anyone. Even your parents. (Unless you have exceptional parents)
6. If you’re single, it doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. Do you really want to be like the friend who’s been in an abusive relationship for five years but can’t get out, purely because her boyfriend is like a drug habit she can’t kick? Be single. Enjoy it.
7. If you’re in the above relationship, you know what the next step is.
8. Work politics, politics between friends, family politics… get away from it all. It’s too bloody complicating and you lose track of who you’re telling what lies to.
9. Do yoga. Seriously. Why do old people get into yoga or meditation? They’re not boring. They’re realized they’ve wasted the first 50 years of their lives getting into crappy relationships or getting involved in painful politics, and they want to get away from it all. A healthy body leads to a healthy mind.
10. Learn how to cook if you don’t know. And for God’s sake get a job and stand on your own two feet. Okay so that’s two points. Ah well, who said adults could count.