could really use a wish right now

I feel like my life is never going to end. I feel like it is going to end tomorrow. I feel like maybe it has already ended.. or it never began?

This is what happens when I am not swamped with work, sitting in the beautiful industrial area my office is located at, without people around me. And when I hear things about people, things I never expected to heard about people I genuinely like. Things that shock me, make me think, make me re-evaluate every damn thing about myself and the person I've discovered something about.

I don't like finding out I'm wrong. I really don't. Not this way, especially. Not through someone else.

And I'm beginning to loathe the opposite sex. In school I would have probably been voted "most likely to verbally or physically castrate a boy", had it been the sort of school which voted or gave titles to people. But the truth was, I was young [I still am, people say, but I don't feel it] and though I had issues, I had some hope, somewhere. That men [and women] were worth getting to know and fighting for.

Hope. Snigger. Whassat?

Now I think hope is a very distant sentiment. Women are bitchy, insecure and terribly complicated. Men are... I don't know what. Stupid? Uncaring? Insensitive? I've learnt to handle the Complicated, ignore the Bitchy and help the Insecure. I can't do anything about Stupid, Uncaring and Insensitive.

I look at the title of my post. It is a song stuck in my head, which was playing on the radio while I drove to work. And I wonder.. if I *did* have that one wish.. what the hell would I wish for?

I'm tempted to say "indifference".