Remembering him

Remember?

When you climbed a tree

Pulled my mother’s pigtails.

When your mother defended

Your every misdeed.

When you made my mother cry,

When you bullied her.

Remember when you were happy.

Remember when you grew up.

Your father died, you took over.

Your first time with your wife.

Your first child, first pet.

Were you happy then?

Were you happy while

You sat in the seat of power?

I remember.

I remember your smile, your voice.

Your big hands and great, big laugh.

The way you taught me to pinch people.

I remember you rolling on the floor

With our dog.

He’s also gone now.

I remember you sharing chicken liver,

Laughing with Ma.

I hope you were happy then.

I remember the last time

I saw you alive.

No.

You on a ventilator does not count.

You weren’t well.

Smoked too much.

Was it because you were unhappy?

Ma was scared.

So was I.

When my father died,

We did not cry.

When you died,

I could not stop.

Leaders wept.

Colour faded from the world

When you left it.

I’m sorry for our mistakes.

Mistakes you can see

From wherever you are.

But cannot mend.

The wind is blowing outside,

I hope it takes some

Of my words to you.

I hope you are happy now.

With my dog and yours,

And with your parents.

We miss you.