the deluge

There was a side to me that I always knew of,
That bit that I feared the deepest.
Covered by shimmering ice,
So striking, so sharp in its beauty,
Cold to touch and fearless in its protective duty.

The ice became a part of me,
The veiled eyes and never smiling face.

I should have seen the deluge coming.

The day that I set fire to the ice
And watched her burn from afar.
The flames were so high,
I thought she would burn longer,
But it lasted no more than a few minutes.

I wake up looking for her now,
That icy beauty that I once knew.
But when I look in the mirror,
I see only emotional dimples.
I can still picture her burning, screaming,
Asking me to think again.

I miss her,
But there is a side to me that I never knew of.
I don’t know where the rain starts
And my tears end, but they have settled the flames now,
All that remain of her are cinders and memories.

The rain gets harder,
The voices get stronger.
The person I burned her for is no longer keeping me from her.
But there are others.
There will be others.

I can feel the cold beginning inside me again.
The hands slowly reaching up from the ground
Where I stand,
Calling my name,
Reaching for my face.

I have missed her coldness.

But there will be others.

**for carry on tuesday.**